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On the morning of August fifteenth, Alexis Davis awoke
with
a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. It wasn`t quite
butterflies, but it was definitely something ... different.
She was
sixty-two years old and she couldn`t remember feeling this way in a
quarter of a century.
Shaking
off her uncertainty, she laughed softly to herself,
and went about her routine. She started as she always did on
Mondays
-- first by feeding the horses, and then by doing the
laundry. She was just hanging the last of the sheets in the yard
when
she heard the faint rumbling of a vehicle in the distance. She looked
up and saw a beat-up green pick-up truck
trundling its way down
the road and towards her farmhouse. She found it odd that anyone
should be out here, especially
this time of day. She raised the
now-empty laundry basket, fitted it into her hip, grabbed the
container of clothespins
and made her way to her front porch.
The truck kept coming closer, and curiosity wouldn`t let her
look away. She smoothed the wrinkles from her faded striped dress,
tucked a tendril of slightly-graying hair behind
one ear and walked
deliberately down the long driveway to meet the truck and its
driver. The truck stopped where her
driveway met the dirt road and
its driver emerged slowly. The sun was in her eyes so she couldn`t
quite make out the
driver`s face, sex or other details.
The truck`s door slammed shut, and a ripple of fear gripped
her. The driver didn`t look particularly menacing. He was a man of
average height, a bit on the light side. His hair
was graying at the
temples too. He was wearing a long-sleeved white cotton shirt and
khakis -- though pressed a little
more severely than the styles
usually seen around her area. It wasn`t what he was wearing that
scared her -- it was
who he was. This was the man who, so many
years ago, had caused her the most exquisite pain -- and pleasure --
than
any other in her entire life. Before her stood Sonny Corinthos
-- sixty-five years old and as stunning to look at as ever.
It had been twenty-six years since the last time they met,
and all the old memories resurfaced
simultaneously for her. Seeing
him again made her dizzy, and immediately she started gulping for
air and swaying slightly.
Before she knew what was happening he
had both arms around her and was leading her towards the porch
swing.
They
sat in silence, the rhythmic back and forth motion of
the swing working to regulate her breathing. When she regained her
composure she realized that he had clasped her hand in his, and
closed his eyes. Without thinking, she leaned her
head against his
shoulder as she had done so many years ago, and simply inhaled.
His scent was exactly as she remembered.
Although she wouldn`t
call it intoxicating, it was certainly comforting. She realized he still
used expensive aftershave,
still consumed a lemon drop each
morning, and that his strength, despite his age, had not dissipated in
any way. Before
she could speak, he opened his mouth. His
revelations had been over a quarter-century in coming, and though
he had
rehearsed them so many times in his head, he knew he had
to get them out quickly, before he lost his nerve.
`Alexis,`
he began, and then stopped. `I`m sorry. I know
you haven`t gone by that name in years. Natasha, right?` She
smiled,
winced, and said `It feels good to hear someone use my real
name. It`s been so long, and I didn`t imagine that I`d ever
hear it
again.` He took a deep breath, still holding her hand, and began. `I
know you probably never expected to see
me again. In fact, you
probably prayed for it. I don`t mean to come here, upsetting your
life like this, but I felt
that I had to. I`ve spent the last 26 years
subconsciously searching for you. It`s only within the last several
weeks
that I began to actively seek you out. Is my being here going
to screw things up for you?` She looked at him, thought
for a
minute, and answered, quite honestly. `Not at all. It`s been so long,
so many years have passed. Any connection
I had to you, or to Port
Charles has long since ceased to exist. Say what you need to say,
and we`ll go from there`.
He inhaled sharply, not expecting her co-operation. He
swallowed, and began again. `Alexis,
the way we left things
between us ... it was unthinkable. I know you blamed me for your
sister`s death, and at the
time I was unwilling to take responsibility
for it. I couldn`t admit, at least not to you, that it was my lifestyle
that
allowed for such a tragedy to occur. I`ve thought about that,
and about her, many times over the years. And that last
time we
saw each other -- it was just so...`
`Ugly,` she interjected. `It was an awful, awful exchange
between us. I was eight months pregnant, about to marry Ned, and
there you were. I went to visit my sister`s grave
and instead of
being alone in my grief, there you were. I listened to you pouring
you heart out to your wife`s grave,
and I just lost it. The things I
said to you, the accusations I made, and the curses I imbued upon
you. It was a hundred
times worse than what I said to you at
Kristina`s funeral, and I know how hard that was for you. I was so
buried within
my grief, and seeing you, and knowing that the simple
fact that I knew you had gotten her killed -- it was too much to
bear.`
`I know that, and I`m sorry. I knew it then, and I should`ve
just left. Instead, I stayed
with you, and I listened to every word
you said. Those words, Alexis -- they`ve haunted me for twenty-six
years. I`ve
never gotten over them. And then you left -- and I never
knew why. Everyone, including Ned and Jax, thought you`d come
back after the baby was born. They didn`t know it, but I was having
both of them trailed. I thought you would make
contact with one of
them, and that I could use that as a link to find you. But you never
called, did you? You didn`t
ever see either of them again.`
She paused, thinking back to the circumstances of the last
three decades,
and answered him honestly. `No, I never contacted
either of them again. I figured you would be having them watched,
and
I didn`t want to risk it, not for any of us. And after a few years,
it became easier. I didn`t call anyone; I didn`t talk
to anyone. Alexis
Davis disappeared, and Natasha took her place. Natasha Corbin, to
be exact. I wanted a trace of
my old life, but I thought it would be
too dangerous to keep either of my names, or even their initials. I
wanted
to keep a part of you with me, so I took your father`s name
on. Think Mike would mind?`
Sonny`s eyes
saddened momentarily, and he said, `Nah, he
would`ve found it flattering. He died, `bout eleven years ago.
Cancer
got him. It didn`t have anything to do with me. We forgave
each other in the end. We said our peace`.
Tears
welled up in Alexis`s eyes for she knew the history
behind their relationship, knew the strength it must have taken for
Sonny to finally forgive his father for all his past indiscretions.
`So what are you doing here,
after all this time? What could
you possibly want from me that Carly couldn`t give you?`
With a harsh
laugh Sonny stiffened momentarily, and went
on to explain about his ex-wife. `Carly, as you know, is not
someone who
would ever change. Not for anyone or anything. She
was a manipulative, self-serving, exploitive sex kitten from the
get-go.
I thought I loved her, I convinced myself of it. Do you
know why I was with her? I was with her because I thought that
she was the only kind of person I deserved. I thought that I wasn`t
worthy of being loved by someone good and decent
and selfless.
Things with Carly soured shortly after you left town. Apparently
without the threat of competition,
Carly didn`t find me too suitable
of a prize to hold onto. She hooked up with -- you`ll never believe
it -- this sleazeball
who used to run the club where my sister
stripped. His name was Coleman something or other, and the two
of them left
town together a couple of months after you did. And to
be honest, I haven`t heard from her since.
Michael
is thirty-one now. He runs a wildlife reserve just
outside of Port Charles. He managed to get all sorts of rare animals
that most zoos and preserves won`t touch. He`s happy. I raised him
alone, without Carly. Jason helped, and they`re
very close.
Eventually Michael decided he wanted to make AJ part of his life,
and I didn`t stand in his way. He thinks
of me as his father and AJ
as a sort of uncle of some kind. He turned out rather well, and I`m
very proud of him.
My sister is too. Courtney runs Kelly`s now, and
she`s married -- to Jason, if you can believe it. Once she broke up
with
AJ, the tension between him and I was eased a great deal. She
and Jason started spending time together, and after a very
long
courtship, realized they were happier together than apart. They`ve
got a couple of kids and live in Luke &
Laura`s old house.`
Alexis smiled at hearing the whereabouts of her former
friends & acquaintances.
She found it vaguely like reading the
epilogue at the end of a really great book or film. However, she
realized with
a sinking feeling that he still hadn`t said why he was
here, and she was pretty sure she knew the answer without having
to ask.
He said, `I`m sure you can guess why I`m here. One night,
not so long ago, I ran into
Ned at Lucky`s. Oh, you wouldn`t know
this -- Lucky took over his father`s business, changed the name, and
it`s never
been so successful. I ran into Ned who was sucking back
tequila shots and commiserating the breakup of his seventeenth
marriage. Obviously you know he and I have never been close but
somehow your name was brought up. I confronted him
about your
pregnancy. I goaded him, asked him why he let the mother of his
child make a French exit from Port Charles.
I asked him if he ever
wondered about his child, and that abandoning his children seemed
to be rather of a habit for
him. With a strength I didn`t know he
possessed, he grabbed me by the shirt collar and laughingly revealed
that it
wasn`t his child you`d left town with, but mine. At first I
didn`t believe him; he`d obviously had a few, and we`d never
gotten
along. But then he reminded me that you would never fall from one
man`s bed into another so quickly, and how
much I`d broken your
heart when I chose Carly over you. And things made sense. So,
with a renewed sense of urgency
I began to search for you.`
Her heart sinking, she knew she had at least two questions
that he needed
to answer for her. `How did you find me, and what
do you plan to do now that you have?`
He looked
at the worried furrow of her brow, and any anger
he had initially felt because of her secret-keeping, faded away.
`Finding
you was the easy part. I had about a thousand of your
finger prints all over my legal papers from when you were my
attorney.
I never opened those boxes when you returned them from
me. That was the easy part. And now, with everyone`s fingerprints
being on file for the DMV, it wasn`t very hard to find someone to
hack into the computer and match up the prints.
At first, I was just
surprised to see that you were here. Winterset, Iowa. Who
would`ve guessed? Certainly not me.
I assumed you`d gone back to
Greece, or to New York or L.A. -- definitely somewhere big so you
could get lost in the
business of it all. But Iowa? Wow. What
possessed you to come here?`
She smiled and answered easily
and honestly. `About thirty
years ago I read a book and its setting was right here -- in Madison
County. I remember
thinking `god, if I only had a different life, if I
only had another chance, I`d go there, I`d love it,` and then, when
I
actually had to choose somewhere to go, I came here. Part of the
reason I chose it was because it was the exact
opposite of
everything I`d ever known. I knew nothing about animals or
cooking or quiet farm life. And I knew this
would be a healthy
environment for a child. So, here I am. And do you know what? I
love it. I love the quiet. I love
the routine. I love the three radio
stations that we get, and I love the fact that I haven`t worn heels or
a business
suit in a quarter of a century. I am relaxed, and calm and
it feels amazing. This kind of certainty comes but once in
a lifetime.
I know I made the right decision, and I`m sorry if you feel slighted,
but I made the most unselfish choice
I could have possibly made at
the time. And we`re all the better for it.`
He looked at her, squeezed
her hand and said, `I know.`
Shocked, she looked at him. This man, this control freak,
this person
she had built up as the great love of her life -- he was
defending her decision to take away his chance to be a father.
Immediately suspicious, she tried to disengage her hand from his.
But he wasn`t having any of it. He held onto her,
and grabbed her
other hand as well. He put his foot out to stop the swing, looked
down at her, and then up, determined
to make her look at him. Eye
contact made, he began: `You were right. I couldn`t see it at the
time, but the life
I led was no place for a child. I wasn`t able to
make the choices necessary to make my life safe for a baby, and
consequently,
you did the thing that took more strength than I had
-- you abandoned your life and you made raising our child your
priority.
And I`m sure she`s the better for it.`
A small tear escaped Alexis`s left eye and Sonny let go of
her
hand to brush it away. When she felt his hand on her face, she
brought her hand up to his, placed his hand to her lips,
closed her
eyes, and gently kissed his fingertips. In a whisper she asked, `how
did you know we had a daughter?`
He
too whispered his answer back, `I just knew, I just
knew. What`s she like? Can I see a picture of her? I don`t want to
disrupt her life; she doesn`t even have to know I`m her father. I just
want, in some capacity, to get to know her.`
`OK,` she said, before she was fully conscious of her words.
She rose from the swing, still on slightly
unsteady legs, and pulled
him up with her. They walked towards the house and she knew it
was right. In her heart and
in her head, she knew that it was finally
the right time for Kristina to meet her father. It had been a long
journey,
often difficult, running from this man. Strange how she felt
sure that this was finally their time, after all these years,
to embrace
life, together.
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